I Hate My Job! – No, Seriously… I Absolutely Hate My Job!!!

You wake up Sunday… and Monday is on your mind. You feel sick. Your job is causing anxiety, and there's no way out.

Sound familiar?

Half your weekend ruined because all you can think about is Monday morning and the week ahead.

I hate my job. You're not the first person to think it… but that doesn't change the fact you hate your job. And it doesn't make it any less painful.

What can you do? If you can't afford to quit, and there's nowhere else to turn, what do you do? Finding a new job is easier said than done.

According to a 2015 article in the Telegraph, 47% of all workers in the UK want to change their jobs…

Forbes cites a Gallup poll stating that 71% of US employees are “actively disengaged” at work, and in a 2016 HuffPost story, 47% of Canadian workers are unhappy with their jobs.

You are definitely not alone. You could almost call it an epidemic.

I get it.

In the early 2000s, I endured a string of three consecutive jobs I hated (well, one was just a couple of weeks until a stroke of luck presented me with a new opportunity).

But I know what you're thinking…

“Three jobs?”

“Was it really the job? Or was it you?”

… and you'd be right. It was mostly me.

They were jobs I wasn't suited to, and as a result, I was miserable. Life is like that.

Do You Hate Your Job, or Is It Just The Wrong Job?

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The first question is clear…

Is your job worth saving?

Perhaps you've avoided this question because you don't want to know the answer. Maybe you enjoy the work but not the people, or the lack of upward mobility, or the commute.

Maybe you love the people but not the work.

Whatever your situation, under one of these scenarios, it might be worth finding a solution.

However, if you're just not suited to the type of work you're doing, a change may be necessary.

For example, if your job is talking to people all day, but you don't like talking to people, it's going to be a miserable 8 (or 10, or 12, or…) hours.

You might be an office person stuck working outdoors. Or vice-versa.

It could even be a hazard. If you have a health challenge that's causing sleep issues, a job driving a truck or operating heavy equipment might be dangerous. In this case, it might not be the job you hate but rather the potential harm.

Look, it's NOT bad to go beyond your comfort zone. To challenge yourself. To learn and grow.

However, subjecting yourself to misery is not growing. It's certainly a challenge, but it's it's not learning. If the job is truly not suited to your personality, strengths, interests, or personal circumstances, it might not get any better.

It's Okay To NOT Like What You Do

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“I felt like something was wrong with me, and I'm destined to be unhappy.“

…said Jenny Blake, author of the book PIVOT, The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One.

On a recent podcast, she discussed her role as co-founder of Google's career development and mentorship program…

“I wasn’t happy at Google. What’s wrong with me? This is a dream company. Two years into my own business, I’m hitting this wall again. What’s my problem?”

She continued…

“Am I so entitled or spoiled that I can only work on things I want to work on? What’s wrong with me? Buck up.” You know? “How many people are at jobs they don’t like? Why am I resisting this?” I just had to realize it was because it’s not my strength.”

Again, you're not alone.

Whatever your job is, you're not obligated to be happy. Every day, people quit their jobs (some high-paying dream jobs) to pursue something different or more meaningful.

There's nothing wrong if you don't like what you're doing.

We hear this, especially from previous generations, when things were more difficult (I'm now 43, so some may consider me to be from a previous generation.) 😀

But anyhoo…

…. the point is, they had challenges unique to their time, and we have challenges unique to our time. One is not more important than the other.

The world has changed, and there is nothing wrong with wanting more from life. I'm not sure I know anyone who doesn't want more from life, so if there is something wrong with it, we're all wrong.

Just Be Happy THANKFUL You Have a Job

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Seriously! How many times have you heard, “You should just be happy you have a job.”

You've probably said it yourself.

Of course, it's true, in most cases, that having a job (or a business or a career) is better than not having one.

But let's be real…

You're under no obligation to anyone (not even yourself) to be HAPPY about it.

I've had jobs, and I've had employees, and not one of us was under any illusions. It was fun at times and not fun at others. Sometimes, we were happy, and sometimes, we were not. But at the end of the day, we all knew why we were there.

We did it for the money. And for that, we were thankful.

So, you can be THANKFUL that you have a job, but you don't have to be HAPPY about it.

Those are two very different things.

Why should you be happy to have a job you HATE? That makes no sense.

That does not mean you can't be happy about other things in your life, but happy about a job you despise?

Nope!

The main reason you're there is for the money. You know it, your boss knows it, everyone knows it. And that's why they're there, too.

It's fine. We're all adults here.

So, when people say, “Just be happy you have a job”…

… what they really mean is, “Just be happy you have money.”

But wait…

They're still wrong, in a way. We're getting closer to the truth, but when did money become happiness?

I can think of a dozen celebrities who are no longer with us… who were obviously unhappy despite having a lot of money. I even know what it's like to be unhappy with money (and yes, it's better to have money than not to have it, but again, it doesn't equal happiness). 

If being happy to have a job really means being thankful to have a job, then being happy to have money really means being thankful you have money.

And that leads to this very important lesson…

Absolutely no one is the judge of your happiness (or your unhappiness).

I'm tempted to tackle a related challenge here, which is that no one is responsible for your happiness (or your unhappiness) either, but that's a different article. Maybe a different website.

The point is that you own how you feel, including the guilt you might have about feeling that way, which makes what I'm going to say next an unfortunate contradiction…

You shouldn't feel guilty about how you feel.

But people do it all of the time, don't they?

I just did it.

In the context of what we're talking about here, though, it's important to know that it's okay to be unhappy with your job. Pretending to be happy because, according to others, you should be happy, is not helpful.

The truth is, we have no idea what others are going through, what experiences they've had, or what they're thinking.

When my daughter is down about something, I always tell her…

“It's okay to be NOT okay”.

I could say…

“Be happy you have a roof over your head, food to eat, and that you're still young with so many years ahead of you.”

I can think of a hundred reasons she should be happy.

But it only takes one thing to bring her down and it probably only takes one thing to bring you down, too.

If you're like me, half the time I'm feeling down, I couldn't even tell you why. Absolutely everything in my life can be perfect, and yet there are still times I feel down.

Only YOU can judge how you feel and why you feel the way you do.

You may know the reason, or you may not, but the reason is yours and no one else's.

Obviously, there comes a point when unhappiness requires professional attention, and (disclaimer here) that's well beyond the scope of this article, and I'm not a professional.

The message here is simple (even though I took a few hundred words to say it)…

If you're unhappy and hate your job, those feelings belong to you.

Do You Hate Your Job or Your Lack of Options?

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Maybe the job isn't that bad at all. Maybe the job isn't the problem.

There's probably no one holding a gun to your head and telling you that you must go to work. In theory (and in reality, if you ignore the consequences), you can simply NOT go.

But then what?

You have financial responsibilities. People are counting on you. And if you quit, what are you going to do?

The problem is you either have no options, or the options you have are no better.

You're caught between a rock and hard place. You feel trapped.

There's no reason to sugarcoat it. You only have a few choices. And as strange as it sounds, that's also good news.

With only a few choices, it's not that complicated. Literally.

It's not ideal, but when given only a few options, the path is relatively clear.

• You can quit.
• You can stay (and be miserable).
• You can make changes that make the job better, or…
• You can sit down, decide what you want your life to look like, and create a plan to achieve it.

The latter two options won't happen overnight. But small incremental changes in a purposeful direction lead to massive changes down the road.

Those little changes can literally be the difference between a life you absolutely love in 5 years or one you hate.

What those small changes are depends on what you want your life to look like, but small changes to overcome your current predicament at work can be life changing too.

They can be external changes; Confronting a co-worker for example. Or telling the boss you're not getting the training or support you need.

Changes can also be internal; Being thankful and making a list of things you like about the job. Maybe the hours are good, and the job gives you an uncommon level freedom and more time with your family than you'd have otherwise.

Each morning, go over your list and be thankful (leave happy out of it).

You might be surprised how much this changes your perspective.

And then start building options. Don't let yourself fall into that situation again, with nowhere to go and nothing else to do.

“Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.”
― Chris Rock

I'll come back to the topic of options in a moment.

Let's Begin by Gaining Perspective

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The road ahead is one thing, but you still need to deal with the present situation.

While happiness is actually a terrible goal, no one wants to be, or should be, unhappy. And unhappiness is even more difficult when it's your job, which consumes so much of your life.

And, despite hating it, you have to do your job reasonably well, or you may not have it at all.

But this is your situation today, right? So, let's look at it objectively. I know it's not easy.

I'm going to make a few presumptions, and you may disagree (I certainly don't know your specific situation), but I'll explain each in further detail below. For now, those presumption are…

1. It's not as bad as you think.
2. The only thing you should really worry about is NOW.
3. Your life is about more than money.

It's Not as Bad as You Think

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When faced with a bad situation, it's normal to think of worst case scenarios.

It's referred to as Catastrophic Thinking.

Beckinstitute.org explains that this type of thinking “magnifies both the immediate and eventual consequences of any perceived threat.”

Catastrophic thinking is believed to be a mechanism that allowed early humans to survive. When our ancestors were faced with uncertainty, the ones who could imagine potential dangers lived.

Take a dark cave, for example. Those who could look at the entrance and imagine a waiting bear didn't go in. The ones without that ability went in and were eaten. Survival of the smartest.

Over many generations, the ones who understood risk survived, and the ones who did not… well, if they didn't fall off a cliff or drown, they were probably eaten.

As a result, we humans have evolved into a paranoid species, anxious and worried, always thinking the worst is going to happen.

I do it too.

But the worst rarely happens.

In fact, for most people (again, I don't know your specific situation), when you think about it, if you lost your job today, you'd still be safe. It would be inconvenient, frustrating, scary, and you'd be overcome with a sense of urgency, sadness, anger, etc…

… but fatal-danger is probably unlikely.

I'm not saying bad things, really bad things, never happen. That's also untrue. But how often do the things you fear play out exactly as imagined?

So you're stuck in this job you hate, and you're imagining all the things that might happen if you quit, right?

The bills that won't get paid, for example…

That may be true, but not necessarily. Even if it did, would it be the absolute end of the world?

Is subjecting yourself to misery a better option?

But one scary thought leads to another scary thought and…

…. if this happens, then that will happen. And if that happens, this will happen, and so on…

You might lose your car, ruin your credit rating, and have fewer options than you've ever had. Yes, these are all possibilities.

But there will probably be more cars and credit ratings can improve (banks want to lend you money).

The fact is, we have no idea what will happen. And what we think might happen usually plays out differently.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't worry and not plan for the worst.

What it does mean, however, is that the anxiety and fear of what might happen is based on the unknown. And, the worst is probably not as bad as your mind is building it up to be.

I didn't say it would be great, or that tomorrow will be better than today. And of course, whether you hate your job and stay, or hate your job and quit… it's not the best situation you can be in.

But, it's probably not the worst either.

The Only Thing That Exists Is ‘NOW'

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The past doesn't exist. The future doesn't exist.

They are both just thoughts in our heads.

Seriously?

Of course, the past exists. We have evidence of it. I lived it.

And I thought this was a post about hating your job?

Yes, it absolutely is a post about hating your job and I was there in the past too.

However, the knowledge that, neither the past nor the future exist, will for some, be the most important topic of this entire post.

And, although this truth applies to all of us, it's a profound perspective that not everyone will understand. For those who do, however, it may change your life.

It changed mine, which I'll explain in a moment.

Eckhart Tolle, author of the books The Power of Now and A New Earth talks about the NOW. He says…

“You have never been in the NOT NOW, and you will never be in the NOT NOW.”

It's always NOW.

We can only exist in the right NOW. Even if you could somehow jump in a time machine and go back a few hundred years, your experience of the past (from your perspective) would be happening your now.

We can't exist at a time or in a moment that is NOT NOW. And you have always lived in the NOW.

When I was a kid, my Mom used to say,

“Wherever you go… there you are.”

I didn't pay much attention to it at the time. I'm not sure anyone did. It was an interesting thing to say, but did anyone actually grasp its meaning?

Another one you've probably heard is,

“Tomorrow never comes.”

Again, this is actually quite profound.

During one of Eckhart Tolle's seminars (I apologize, I can't remember which one), he talks about an old pub that had a sign on the wall that read,

“Free Beer Tomorrow”

When people would come in the next day, they'd ask the bartender for free beer and he'd just point at the sign,

“It says, tomorrow.”

Our brains don't differentiate well between the present moment, the past and the future. In fact, our thoughts are almost always about our past and our future.

They are rarely about the present.

And when I say the present, I literally mean NOW.

Not five minutes from now and not even 5 seconds from now.

Five minutes ago is gone and there is nothing you can do about it. Five seconds ago no longer exists except as a thought in your head.

Five minutes into the future also doesn't exist, except as a thought. A prediction.

And there's nothing you can do five minutes from now until it arrives.

You only have power in the present moment…

… and perhaps more importantly, things can only happen to you in the present moment.

If you're sitting comfortably at home right now, in your car, or on a bus, and the job you must wake up for tomorrow is hurting you right now…

… it's only the thought of the job that's hurting you, not the job itself.

And your thoughts don't have absolute power over you.

It might seem like they do at times, and you shouldn't fight them (that rarely works). But you don't have to become them either.

You can observe your thoughts as just thoughts, and if there's one you don't like, recognize it for what it is and let it go. It's just a thought after all.

I know, this is all getting a little “whoo-whoo”. Fair enough. Point taken.

But I'll finish this with a little more whoo-whoo by reminding you that you're not your thoughts but rather the observer of your thoughts.

The past has already happened and the future has not. Neither are happening right now.

Why does all of this Zen mumbo jumbo matter?

I'll explain…

The Question That May Have Saved My Life

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I first listened to Eckhart Tolle during an extremely difficult time in my life. I was dealing with a life-changing tragedy, and it occupied my every thought for weeks. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I was sick about it 24/7…

Ironically, I also hated my job (for a variety of reasons) during that time. And…

… there's nothing like a serious life-altering event to put the problem of hating your job into perspective.

One day, I had to travel for work. On the drive, I listened to The Power Of Now audiobook, thinking it would be good background noise. I don't know why I had it on my phone or even when I downloaded it, but I needed something.

An hour or two into the drive (and the audiobook), Eckhart Tolle asked the following question…

He said (or at least I heard),

“What problems do you have right now?”

“Wow!” I thought,

“Where do I even start?”

My entire life was a mess at the time. This tragedy I was going through was causing me to unravel. I had so many problems that my problems had problems.

But then he said something which was so profound that it's changed the entire way I now look at life.

“What problems do you have NOW?” he said again, this time emphasizing the word NOW, 

“Not problems that you had 5 minutes ago, and NOT problems that you're going to have 5 minutes from now.”

“What problems do you have NOW?”

Wait, what?

Does he mean right now? Like, this very moment? NOW NOW?

When he said it like that, I could not come up with a single problem I was having at that literal moment.

What was so bad?

I was comfortable in my car driving (one of my favorite things to do), and the sun was shining. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn't too hot or too cold.

At that very moment, I had no problems.

It was then that I realized most problems are smaller than we think.

It's the present moment that's HUGE. Everything that exists and everything we are is in the present moment. Our problems, as big as they may seem are small in comparison.

I don't say that to minimize your problems.

Some problems are exceptionally serious. Maybe even terminal. And pain is real, without a doubt.

But it's our thinking and obsessing about our problems that take us out of the present… which is the only place we can live.

It's the only place we can find peace and happiness.

You can't find those things anywhere else except in the present moment.

As I was driving I realized that nothing in my physical world had changed. Nothing about my situation had changed. But my perception of my situation had been causing me to suffer even when I wasn't suffering.

Even during the times I was comfortable driving or with a friend, or lying safely in a warm bed… I was suffering.

I had turned my situation into a massive monster of suffering that engulfed all of me, but it really only existed in my head. I was thinking of everything that led up to up to those problems, everyone involved, how the years ahead were going to play out.

I imagined the dominos that would fall as a result. The apocalyptic chain of events that might occur.

And it was all in my head.

Even if the worst turned out to be real, there was nothing I could do at that moment while I was driving.

At that very moment… I realized that I had no problems.

So, I gave myself permission to feel comfortable. To feel safe. To let 5 minutes (or 5 years) from NOW worry about itself.

“Remember then: there is only one time that is important– Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power.”

-Leo Tolstoy

Your Life is More Than Money

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Money is important. Having a job is important.

Hating your job, going into debt, wrecking your credit, putting financial pressure and stress on the people you love, who may even depend on you, is not good. I get it.

I'm in no way saying it's ideal… but money is not the not the only thing. Life is made up of countless layers. Money is only one.

Our friends and families make up many layers.  Time to appreciate a breeze on your skin, a breath of air as it fills your lungs. Music, taste, embrace… life is made up of all of these things. Don't give money (and stuff) more importance than it deserves.

But… as I said above. I do get it.

I worked in construction for many years, which keeps you jumping from project to project.

The problem is, not all projects begin and end at the same time. And, between projects, there are gaps. Some longer than others, but often enough to make you worry.

When times are tough, it can be a game of musical chairs. More people than jobs.

Of course, we do what we can to prepare for lean times, but it's normal to consider worst case scenarios.

Years ago my wife and I were having this conversation. What if we ran out of money?

She was worried so I asked her,

“What's the worst case scenario?”

“Well,” she said. “We could get behind on the bills. We could lose our cars, the house, go hungry…”

“Sure,” I responded. “It's possible. Not likely… but possible. But let's say we get behind on the bills, maybe even lose one of the cars.”

“Our credit will be ruined”, she said.

“Probably. But so what.” I said

She looked at me. It was obvious she thought I was crazy.

Okay… it's not ideal. In fact, it's a pretty big problem… a serious setback. But it's not life or death.

I remember saying at the time that if we ran out of money today (I was between projects at the time)… I'd wake up tomorrow, drive the kids to school, stop for a coffee on the way home (I'm sure I could round up some change), relax, and start working on a plan.

The bank wasn't going to knock on my door that day.

And this isn't hypothetical. I actually did put a plan into action… to reduce the amount of money I needed in the first place.

I traded my two vehicles for cheaper ones. It wasn't easy, but it's just stuff. It's all replaceable… and irrelevant.

I do miss my Mustang, though (and years later I bought a new one).

I still had (and have) my family. We”re healthy. I'm still breathing. And there are still opportunities ahead. What they are, I don't know. But they will be there.

So, I'll say it again…

… life is made of many layers, and money is just one. It's not everything. It's not even the most important.

And you never know, maybe taking a step back is the opportunity you need to rebuild stronger, better, and happier.

Those were my thoughts, and I understand your situation may be drastically different. I'm NOT saying to quit your job or that money doesn't matter.

What I'm saying is this…

There are far worse things that can happen.

“Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.”

– Robert Eliot

There's a reason I wasn't really worried.  As I mentioned earlier, I had been down this road before.

I've struggled to find work before.

I had clung to all the stuff I had. The thought of losing it caused me anxiety, worry, and depression. And eventually, I did lose all of it.

When I finally did land another job, my starting pay was about one-third of what I was previously making.

But here's the thing…

I liked that job. Looking back, it's the job I enjoyed most. Within a few years, I had climbed the ladder, so to speak, and was managing several branches across Canada for that company.

I got back everything I had lost and more. I restored my credit rating and even started saving.

During that time, I was struggling. Everything seemed so big and important. But from a distance (years later), it's actually quite small.

I was reminded of this recently when I heard Robert Cialdini on the James Altucher Show.  He quoted a Chinese proverb,

“The years say what the days can't tell”

Creating Options

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I don't want to bore you further with my story. I'd just like to say quickly that what I failed to do during that rebuilding phase of my life, was create options. I should have learned, but I didn't.

I made the same mistake years later and found myself in a job I wasn't suited to.

Again, I was unhappy and elt trapped.

It was more serious this time since I had a 3-year-old and a newborn at home.

That's when it occurred to me. It wasn't the job I hated. I mean… I didn't like it. But what I hated more was not having anywhere else to go.

Having options became a necessity, and this may be where you find yourself now.

There are dozens of directions you can go.

In my case, I changed my entire career. From the comfort of an office chair, a company car, and an expense account, to hauling around a bag of tools as an electrician.

I promised myself I'd never be stuck without options again…

Nothing is certain, but don't get yourself backed into a corner. With options, you can live to fight another day.

What Are Some Options?

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You hate your job, that much is clear.

But do you have any ideas about what you'd like to do? Or maybe that's the problem… you have too many ideas.

David Allen once said, “You can do anything, but not everything.”

So, while the list of things you'd like to do may be long, you must prioritize.

Maybe starting a small business as simple as buying and selling, or if you've got a specific skill (playing guitar, for example), you can teach others.

If you could earn just a small supplement income, could you afford a less stressful job?

It's a unique era we live in, with seemingly countless opportunities to earn money from the comfort of your home… and more importantly, on your own terms. Contract and freelance work is becoming the new norm… and it may be an ideal path for you to transition out of a job you hate, to one you love.

To get the ball rolling, here are a few ideas.

• Become a freelancer.
• For something relatively simple, you might consider a data entry job from home.
• Work from home as a virtual assistant, “The Bootstrap VA: The Go-Getter's Guide to Becoming a Virtual Assistant, Getting and Keeping Clients, and More!”

As I mentioned a moment ago, I started an online business.

My favorite method of making money online is with affiliate marketing. The program I currently recommend, because it's what worked for me, is Wealthy Affiliate.

Then there are more traditional paths. If it's possible, returning to school might be an option. Or starting a trade.

I have a friend who built a successful and profitable family photography business. That's her full-time business now.

Another who took bookkeeping courses runs her own bookkeeping business and has several clients that keep her busy.

It just takes a little creativity, searching, and asking.

Final Thoughts

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There's no magic bullet. I wish there were.

There are a lot of shitty situations in life, and waking up every morning saying to yourself, “I hate my job” is one of them.

Whether you stay at your current job or leave… your key to a better future is to create options for yourself.

We can't control our circumstances, but we can do our best so they don't control us. 

Another reason you should begin creating options is because our economy is facing challenges we haven't seen before. You may like your next job, but that doesn’t mean it'll be 100% secure.

In future articles, I will explore more ways to generate a second income, as well as ways to make money online. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you found this article helpful.

Please leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you found this article useful, or think it might be helpful for others… Please share.

Cheers,

Jay